


The Dorkiest Love of Them All

by WrongRemedy



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, M/M, Ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-12
Updated: 2012-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-31 00:01:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/337669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrongRemedy/pseuds/WrongRemedy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank the socially awkward nerd (known throughout this fic as "Basement Nerd") falls in love with Gerard, the slightly less socially awkward nerd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dorkiest Love of Them All

**Author's Note:**

> This was co-written via IM with [magic_electric](http://magic-electric.livejournal.com/profile). It is completely in chat log format and is probably the most ridiculous thing ever written. 
> 
> But it's also one of my fondest memories and I wanted to keep it, so here it is. 
> 
> G = Me  
> M = magic_electric

**G** : So, basement nerd

 **M** : Do he and basement!Gerard hang out in some alternative universe?

 **G** : Hm. Maybe. Maybe basement nerd goes to Gerard's school and knows from overhearing Mikey and Ray talk that Gerard is a basement- dweller too, and basement nerd has a giant crush on Gerard but won't say anything because he thinks Gerard is a cooler kind of nerd and would break his glasses

 **M** : And then he meets Gerard and Gee's all like, "Dude. I like your glasses." Basement nerd says, "Uh," and pushes his glasses up on his nose because that's just what he does when he's nervous.

 **G** : And then Gerard looks down at basement nerd's notebook and is like, "Dude, is that Star Wars? I fucking LOVE Star Wars!" and basement nerd is like, *swoon* and then Gerard is like, "Hey, you should totally come over and have a marathon with me and my brother." and basement nerd is like "Omg yes that would be AWESOME"

 **M** : And so the basement nerd has anxiety attacks the whole fucking day (What if Gerard is just pretending to like him? What if Mrs. Way tries to feed him something with oats in it? He's allergic to oats; what will he do if he has a reaction? ) but when he arrives at the Ways' house, Gerard is all like, "Man, come inside," and Mrs. Way says, "Call me Donna, sugar."

 **G** : So then basement nerd goes downstairs with Gerard and Mikey is already crashed out on, like, the worlds flattest beanbag chair with his eyes glued to the tv and the Star Wars theme is playing and Gee is like, "Mikey, this is [basement nerd needs a name]" and Mikey is like *grunt* and Gerard rolls his eyes and smiles at basement nerd and is like, "Uh, my brother. I love him though" and basement nerd is like "Heh. Heh. Yeah." *inhaler when gerard turns away*

 **M** : Gerard suddenly realizes that the couch could probably eat basement nerd alive because, Oh hey, that moldy ham sandwich just moved on its on, so he starts tossing comic books and dirty socks and half- eaten bags of chips off of the sofa, belatedly offering basement nerd a seat by urging him forward with a hand on his back. Basement nerd's all like, *hyperventilates * "Um, thanks," and situates himself on the couch while inwardly punting an imaginary football and screaming "TOUCHDOWN, MOTHERFUCKERS!" because Gerard just touched his shoulder. Voluntarily.

 **G** : So they sit on the couch and Mikey has his back to them the whole time and acknowleges NOTHING and at some point in the middle of like the third movie, basement nerd realizes that he is really really tired and it's probably really late but he doesnt want to check his dorky ass glow in the dark watch with the rubber strap, lest Gerard see it and knee him in the stomach for sheer dorkness but then he thinks about how if he was too late getting home his mom would be totally worried that he got his hair tangled on a low- hanging branch on a tree in the park again, so he checks the lame watch anyway and has an internal freakout when he realizes that it is NEARLY TEN O CLOCK OH MY GOODNESS. But then Gerard is like "OH MY GOD, DUDE, WE TOTALLY HAVE THE  _SAME WATCH_ :O"

 **M** : And so basement nerd goes all flaily, especially when Gerard is grabbing his wrist and jamming it up alongside his own. "No like, seriously, LOOK AT THAT. THE WRISTBANDS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME." Basement nerd grins nervously and is all like, "Great minds think alike." and Gerard grins in the soft blue glow of the tv, all dorky eyes and crooked lips. Mikey finally turns his head halfway, annoyed, and says sarcastically, "How fascinating," and hits the volume button on the remote. They are totally having a moment though; basement nerd feels it in the way Gerard still hasn't let go of his wrist. But then he ruins everything by saying, "I think I need to go home. My mom'll be worried. Park branches and stuff." And Gerard nods sympethetically, like he knows exactly what basement nerd means.

 **G** : "Do you need a ride home? " Gerard asks, and basement nerd is like O.O *HANDS* "Um. I could, like, walk...and stuff. But, like, it's dark and shit and it's Jersey and..." and Gerard is like "Say no more. I'll drive you." then he lowers his voice all sympathetically and conspiratorially and is like, "I've had wayyyyy to many incidents with being outside alone at night while my brain conjurs up images of D&D trolls hiding behind every dumpster" and basement nerd nearly COMES IN HIS PANTS, NERDGASM STYLE because GERARD PLAYS D&D

 **M** : When Gerard and basement nerd are in Gee's car, Iron Maiden playing softly, basement nerd asks, "So, you play D&D too? " And Gerard grins, all excited and wide- eyed, "Half- elven ranger. I specialize in bows and longswords." They chatter animatedly about elves and trolls for a little while, Gerard occasionally breaking off mid- speech to yodel along with the chorus of a song, and basement nerd resists the urge to clasp his arms around Gerard and say, "I'm keeping you."

 **G** : Ok, so then they get to basement nerd's house, and Gerard is like, "Dude, there's no car here and all the lights are off" and basement nerd feels like a total tool because he TOLD his mom he'd only be gone for a few HOURS but she INSISTED on believing he was STAYING THE NIGHT at the Way's house when he WASNT and now she's GONE OFF SOMEWHERE and basement nerd is going to be home ALL ALONE and he might just DIE. He explains all of this to Gerard, who just purses his lips and creases his eyebrows and nods along, then holds up a finger like  _wait_ and pulls out a cell phone that has a sticker on the back that says 'READING IS COOL' and the nerdgasm is back full force, and basement nerd totally misses everything Gerard says into the phone

 **M** : "So does that sound okay? " Gerard is asking him. Basement nerd misses it the first time, because he's too busy fantasizing about Gerard wearing his bat belt and nothing else. And they'd play D&D as foreplay, and he can't help but think, "I'd like to see his longsword," and then thinking "That's what she said," ...But then he has to snap himself out of it, because hello, how pathetic. "Er, is what okay? "

 **G** : Gerard smiles kind of wonkily, like he  _knows_ what basement nerd was thinking, and he's like, "Mikey said he'd cover for me, if you wanted some company until your mom gets home" and on the inside, basement nerd is like *FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIL *, but on the outside he's like *shrug* *sniff* "yeah, that would be nice. cool. fun. yknow. whatever." and waits until Gerard gets out of the car to squeeze the seat cushion spastically and breathe deeply from his inhaler AGAIN because GERARD IS GOING IN HIS  _HOUSE_ OH MY GOD

 **M** : He flips the lights on, snaps the key back on the ring around his belt loop, and stretches his arms out, saying, "Welcome to my humble abode," trying to sound cool or something. Gerard goes, "It's nice," but then raises his eyebrows ^- ^ and says, "So, what do you want to do? It's only like, eleven." And usually, basement nerd would be snoring in his bed at eleven, but Gerard being here makes him feel like he chugged five cans of Red Bull. "Whatever," he says, but he really wants to say, "Can I show you my collection of comic books and then molest you while we roleplay as Batman and Robin? "

 **G:**  Gerard looks around and says, "Well, do you have a bedroom or something? " Basement nerd isnt sure what comes over him, because he snorts and says, very sarcastically, "Oh no. Mom just leaves a towel out on the kitchen floor next to a bowl of dry Cap'n Crunch and says I'm on my own". Then basement nerd claps his hand over his mouth and prays for death because he thought there was nothing worse than Gerard thinking he was too dorky, and he just found it and it's name is GERARD THINKING HE'S AN ASSHOLE  
But Gerard laughs and basement nerd tries not to hyperventilate as he leads Gerard down the hallway towards his bedroom (oooh lala). Once they get there, Gerard just kind of stops dead in his tracks with his eyes bugging out of his head and turns in this really slow circle like he's inspecting every object in the room. Then he turns to basement nerd and is like, "YOU HAVE THE BEST COLLECTION OF ACTION FIGURES I'VE EVER SEEN", and basement nerd is like *blush* "You should see all my comic books" and pulls open his closet door revealing a STATE OF THE ART COMIC BOOK DRAWER AND ORGANIZATIONAL SYSTEM WITH BACKLIGHTING AND LABELED LAMINATE CASINGS FOR EACH BOOK  
Gerard makes this chokey- gaspy noise and then says to basement nerd, "I could fucking kiss you right now", which basement nerd does not know how to respond to without it coming out as "OH YES, PLEASE DO. PLEASE KISS ME AND THEN DO OTHER THINGS TO ME AND THEN WE'LL GET GAY MARRIED IN CANADA WITH YOU NAKED AND PAINTED BLUE LIKE DR. MANHATTEN AND ME DRESSED AS SILK SPECTRE"

 **M** : So he doesn't respond. Instead, he lurches forward, fingers hooking around Gerard's belt loops. Gee's face is right up next to his and basement nerd breathes out, "Okay," and their lips finally meet, and all basement nerd can think of his how hot Gerard would look dressed in Princess Leia's metal bikini from  _Return of the Jedi._ But then Gerard wraps his arms around basement nerd, crushing him up against his chest, and sighing into his mouth, "Your comic book collection is sexy." And basement nerd doesn't feel guilty at all for picturing Gee dressed as Princess Leia.

 **G** : Basement nerd breathes back, "So is your everything", and Gerard laughs, and when they go to school the next day, they hold hands so that everyone can see how their watches match and Gerard draws basement nerd a picture of the two of them getting married in space with unicorns and vampires and their moms in attendence, and basement nerd is happier than he's ever been in his whole life

 **EPILOGUE** : Many years later, they really do get married, and even though it's not in space and there are no unicorns, it's still amazing. And on each night of their two and a half week honeymoon, they roleplay a different comic book or movie fantasy, starting with Dr. Manhatten/Silk Spectre and ending with Princess Leia, with Batman/Robin somewhere in the middle and it is officially THE BEST NERD SEX EVER AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER


End file.
